Friday, December 18, 2015

This is not a cheerful Christmas post

Just the opposite. This week I got mugged while shopping for Christmas presents.

I sometimes struggle with the social side of the holidays. I don't enjoy shopping - outside of bookstores - and I get anxious about buying the right presents. The bookish people are easy, there are just too few of them on my list. But with my list resolutely in hand, I headed out Wednesday evening. Walking from the parking lot to the store, I was hit from behind by a man who then grabbed my purse. I felt this disbelief that it was really happening, and also outrage that he was trying to take my purse. I held on as hard as I could, yelling at him, but he managed to rip the bag from its straps and run off. A woman who had seen the whole thing led me into the store and found the manager for me, even though her young son was upset by what had happened.

I only had a few dollars in my wallet, but of course the thief got my credit cards and driver's license (not my car or house keys, thankfully). He also got my phone, and my reading glasses - which leaves me half-blind. I've done everything I can to protect myself against identity theft and access to my bank accounts. Tomorrow I have to figure out what to do about my phone. And get a new library card. At least he probably hasn't been checking out books in my name.

After the police came to file a report, I drove home to make all the necessary calls. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep for hours, if at all, so I made a big mug of hot cocoa and climbed under the covers with Jeanne Ray's Eat Cake. I had been thinking of this book all night (it's high on my list of comforting books). The narrator Ruth's mother Hollis came to live with her after a day-time robbery.
I wish I could find the person, the people, who kicked in her door. I have never gotten over my need to tell them that they took too much. The television, the stereo, largely worthless jewelry, six pieces of family silver which included her mother's butter dish that had come over with the family on the boat from Denmark, they could have all of that, but they shouldn't have kicked in the door. That was the thing that changed my mother for good. Divorce and hard work and single motherhood - she was up for all of those challenges. But to be seventy-three years old and know that someone can just kick in your door, that they don't even have enough finesse to force the lock, really destroyed her sense of how the world was ordered. It scared her, my mother, who had always been such a brave person. Even after it was long over it left her unsure of things.
One of the threads in this lovely story is watching Hollis find her way out of that fear and into a new independence.

Usually I line up some seasonal mysteries to read at Christmas, and I've been saving two of the British Library Crime Classics (Mystery in White and The Santa Klaus Murder). But even fictional crime seems less appealing right now. I want the literary equivalent of hot cocoa and flannel sheets and a cat sleeping nearby. In the meantime, I will put up Christmas lights and make the family's traditional candy. And I'll be thankful that the man didn't have a gun (and neither did anyone else), grateful for everyone who helped me, and mindful of how many people are suffering much worse violence and mourning much greater losses.

40 comments:

  1. So sorry to hear this, What a terrible experience. As you say, it could have been worse but still, it was frightening & annoying (losing your phone etc), just what you don't need at this time of year. I hope the cocoa & the book helped.

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    1. Thank you, lyn - the cocoa and the book helped very much, and so has all the sympathy and support.

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  2. Oh, Lisa, I'm so sorry. I've had things stolen (though thankfully without the violence) and I know how hard that can be. I'm glad you're OK, and I know you'll get through this. (PS. I loved Eat Cake! Now I want to listen to it...) Take care of yourself!

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    1. Audrey, so many co-workers have told me that they've also been robbed or had things stolen - all women - and some more violently than my attack.

      Eat Cake always makes me want either to bake or eat cake - more to eat this time :)

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  3. That is definitely not a happy experience. So sorry to hear this, but I am so glad to hear that you are home safe and sound and able to find comfort in books and family traditions. Take care.

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    1. Thank you, Melanie! I went shopping for candy ingredients today, and that always makes it feel more like Christmas (my mother's tradition, which we looked forward to all year :)

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  4. That is *terrifying* - I am so glad you were not injured. And the sheer annoyance of cards/phones too, at this time of year. I'm sending positive (book-filled) thoughts your way in the hope of blocking out this distressing start to an already really anxiety-inducing season.

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    1. It's always nice to know that I am not the only one who finds this season an anxious one. I will take all the positive & book-filled thoughts you are sending, thank you!

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  5. That's awful, Lisa. I'm so sorry to hear about this and am glad you could find some comfort in a good book. Take care!

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    1. Thank you, Helen. Books have definitely been a welcome comfort & distraction. I was just at the library, and simply being there was a comfort, even though I didn't find any books to bring home.

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  6. Oh no, Lisa!! That's just terrible!! And so scary! I've had credit cards stolen, and thankfully you will not be responsible for what the thief charges. The main inconvenience is being without the card until a new one arrives. I, too, am glad you found comfort in a good book. Hugs.

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    1. I think I managed to get the cards canceled in time - at least there have been no new charges reported. I keep checking my bank accounts, though that card was blocked as well - but banks aren't quite as good at refunding money, I've heard. Thank you for the hugs - I've been taking every one offered!

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  7. I'm so sorry this happened to you! Wishing you an abundance of comfort reads, cocoa, and coziness.

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    1. Thank you, elizabeth! I finished Eat Cake earlier today and have been trying to decide what to read next - in the cozy & comforting range.

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  8. Lisa, I am so sorry this happened. It is definitely a time for hot cocoa and comfort reads. I hope it isn't too much effort and hassle to get everything straightened out.

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    1. Jennifer, thank you. I've been able to manage a lot in the last couple of days. Fortunately the DMV was not packed - I was expecting to be there for hours, to get my license replaced. And I've been able to order new reading glasses - I wish those could be rushed. I feel like things are more under control - except for all the Christmas shopping.

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  9. Oh, no! I'm so sorry to see this but glad you're safe and there were helpers on hand to take care of you in the moment. Give yourself as much rest and comfort this weekend as you possibly can. Good books and tea and chocolate and kitties to snuggle. Surround yourself with everything good and know that you've got virtual hugs and good wishes from me.

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    1. Thank you, Teresa! The cats were initially a little stressed that night, because I was tearing the place up trying to find numbers and passwords. The little cat hid under the bed, which she rarely does! But we've all calmed down now, and since it's cooler here they are quite willing to sit with (if not on) me - and I do find that comforting. Tea & chocolate (hot or cold) are equally comforting.

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  10. But Lisa, even though there are people in a far worse position that doesn't mitigate the outrage that was meted out to you and you shouldn't try and minimise the shock that you feel. You have a perfect right to feel it and to scream about it loudly. I am so glad for your sake that you felt you could tell us about it. That is far better than bottling it up inside.
    The Bears are sending you lots of good wishes and hugs and want to remind you that while chocolate is good honey in warm milk is even better at a time like this. Take great care and remember that there are more good people in the world like the woman who came to your aid than there are bad.

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    1. I hesitated a bit about posting this, Alex, but writing about it is helping me to deal with it - and I do so appreciate the kind & supportive comments.

      Please thank the Bears for me. I thought of them as I bought honey today - I'm becoming very attached to almond butter & honey on my toast. I've haven't tried honey in milk yet but will keep that in mind.

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    2. Oooh! We haven't tried almond butter. We like almond milk but anything with butter the name sounds even better. We will ask Alex to buy us some for Christmas.
      The Bears

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    3. The first brand I tried had so much sugar that it tasted like candy - and I ate it like candy. Now I've found a brand that is just ground roasted almonds. It's a big drippy, but I expect you wouldn't mind that.

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  11. That's awful. I'm so sorry to hear about this and I certainly hope it doesn't ruin your holiday season. I agree, comforts like favorite books, warm pets, and chocolate are a good thing right now.

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    1. Karen, it did put a crimp in my Christmas cheer - which wasn't that robust to begin with. I need to put out some more decorations, and write a few cards - that should help. And there is always the candy :)

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  12. I knew Christmas shopping was dangerous. :) But seriously, what an awful thing to have happen. I hope you're okay, and that you manage to have a Merry Christmas despite the mugger scrooge!

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    1. Thank you, Lark, I'll do my best! At least Scrooge reformed - I'd love to open my door & find my reading glasses and work keys at least sitting there. No, actually, that would freak me out. Maybe he could mail them.

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  13. So sorry to hear this, hope the shock and trauma is wearing off fast. I encountered a snatch theft together with a friend about 4 years ago, too. Two men on a motorcycle attacked us while we were walking to our cars after attending a friend's son's birthday party. We stumbled and fell and the food packs we were carrying went flying into the nearby drains (as did one side of my sandals). I had bruises and cuts which healed after some weeks, and lost my handbag with the wallet and cards but thankfully my car key was in my pocket and the other saving grace was that my handphone fell out of the handbag as the thieves were speeding off. I know how shaken one can feel after such an incident. Do take care and comfort in the things you love (and still have) and have yourself a merry little Christmas, nevertheless. Best wishes!

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    1. That must have been so scary, michelle, with a noisy motorcycle coming up on you, and two attacking you. A co-worker was telling me that a man on a regular bike stopped to try to grab her purse - dragging her down to the street in the process.

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    1. Thank you, jennifer - I was lucky to escape with just bruises and strains.

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  15. How upsetting. I'm so sorry this happened to you, Lisa. Best wishes for cosiness and calmness as you recover from the experience.

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    1. Claire, thank you! I have a Denis Mackail book, and I'm debating between him and Wodehouse for my next read.

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  16. I'm so sorry, what a horrible experience for you. I hope you can recover from the trauma of it and go on to enjoy Christmas. Best wishes for 2016.

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    1. Thank you, Katrina! I've had a peaceful afternoon at home with a good book, cups of tea & purring cats. Of course I have to go back to work tomorrow - but at least there's the holiday weekend to look forward to, with more relaxing. I hope 2016 brings us all good things.

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  17. Aw, honey, I am so so sorry this happened to you. I got mugged once (nearly ten years ago, it'll have been now!), and it was just an awful experience. I'm glad you are at least okay and didn't lose your keys and phone, and I hope you are super kind to yourself in the coming weeks. HUGS.

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    1. Thank you, Jenny - this comes at a most opportune time. I went out to the grocery store - my first time out at night since it happened, and I had an anxiety attack on the way. I AM TAKING ALL THE VIRTUAL HUGS!

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  18. Oh, Lisa, how awful! I'm incensed for you! What a crappy thing to have happen, but I'm glad you are okay and all will be well. I hope you find some Christmas cheer this week and enjoy your time off. Wishing you a Merry Christmas!

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    1. Anbolyn, thank you! I am OK, and it will get better. I am going to make fudge, and maybe penuche - and those are good things (not to mention the sugar high). Merry Christmas to you too :)

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  19. I am so, so sorry that this had to happen to you. Thank goodness there were lovely people to help, and I hope that bibliotherapy and other nice things will steer you back on to an even keel.

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    1. Jane, thank you. I have been taking things quietly since it happened, and I do feel more on an even keel - though to stretch your metaphor, minor things tend to tip me over a bit more easily right now. I am looking forward to the quiet of the long weekend.

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Thank you for taking the time to read, and to comment. I always enjoy hearing different points of view about the books I am reading, even if we disagree!